July 19, 2011

Eyes Half Open

I see my children every day.  I see them make messes and fight.  I see Corrina's unmanageable hair, Kennedy falling asleep with her finger in her nose, I see Georgia throw a million fits a day. 

I see that they only want to talk to me if I'm on the phone.  I see that they don't like to go to bed and that they only need things from me when I'm trying to take a shower. 

I see that they never like what I make for dinner.  I see that they keep me from sleeping.

Do I really see my children?  Do I see that they are people, individuals? 

Do I see that they have very real thoughts, hopes and fears of their own?  Do I see that they will be (and are now) so much more than just my children? 


Do I see the different hats they will wear throughout their lives?  Do I see that they are so much more than daily inconveniences?  Do I see that it is not my job to tell them what to think, what to want, what to fear and how to live?  Do I see that it is my job to teach them?  To listen to them?  To support them?  To encourage them?

July 15, 2011

Thirty-Something

Yesterday, I turned 31.  My family brought me breakfast in bed (a bagel) and presents (a manicure and facial).  We had birthday cake.  The girls think that EVERY birthday cake has to have a character theme.  They chose Harry Potter. 

Then, I grabbed my book (which I've been reading since Stella was 2 weeks old) and took myself for a margarita lunch.  My best friend watched a couple kids and my in-laws watched a couple and I actually got to have an evening out with my husband.  It was a pretty good day!

I am officially 30 something.  I realized last night that this life, my life couldn't get much better.  I'm OK with the fact that I hardly go anywhere.  I'm OK with washing diapers, breastfeeding in public, sleeping with my children and wearing my baby while I do housework or go to the park.  I'm OK with not wearing makeup, having bad skin and horrible fashion sense.  I'm OK with the toys on the floor, my to do list growing longer and my bank account getting smaller.  I'm not sure exactly when I became so comfortable in my own skin or when I realized what is really important in life.  I just know that I wouldn't change anything. 

Am I perfect?  Not even close.  I am a work in progress and I'm OK with that.

July 14, 2011

The Essence of Summer

Oh, the sights you see in the summertime in Illinois.  I was fortunate enough to have dinner with my friend Cheryl Saturday night.  We took a trip to the mighty Mississip.  It was HOT.  I took my camera, just knowing I'd capture the essence of summertime.  As it turns out, I only captured the shadier, slightly skeevy side of summer.


A pool you couldn't pay me to get into

Old guy in a Speedo

Shark boat

Cheers! From the tipsy fat lady!

You can find better more pictures of summertime at
Photobucket

July 12, 2011

July 11, 2011

I Want...I Need...

I kind of miss writing in my little space here.  It's been a while. 

I'm trying to change some things.  Attitudes, relationships and outlooks to name a few.  You know, nothing major. 
Change is hard, no matter how necessary or wanted, big or little it is. 

I'm tired, I'm doubtful, I'm low on patience, I'm discouraged. 
I need some instructions, some support, some inspiration and someone to sweep my floors and clean my bathrooms. 
I need more time, more encouragement, more knowledge. 
I need less guilt, less clutter, less mess, fewer setbacks. 
I need more forgiveness, more grace.
I need more fun.
Change is hard, no matter how welcome it is. 
I want to change. 
I want to be the best me that I can be. 
I can't shake the feeling that I'm failing miserably.

July 1, 2011

Epic Disaster

I don't wish bad things on good people, and I don't like to wish bad things on bad people.  But today?  I'm pretty sure that Moon Sand was invented by Satan himself.  Putting ages 3 and up on the box only prompts people to buy it as a gift.  THIS IS NOT A GOOD GIFT FOR 3 YEAR OLDS!!! (or 4 year olds) 
So today, to the man who invented Moon Sand, I hope a bird mistakes your unprotected head for a car windshield.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have mountains of sand to finish cleaning out of my dining room.

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